Bitch.
That’s not a title one can be proud of. I mean, who with a clear mind, likes to be known as a bitch? Besides yours truly, of course…
Mind you, it’s not that I enjoy being one. And sometimes I do try very hard not to be one. But look what happens to me when I am NICE…
Two days ago the whole office had to attend a function in conjunction with a major event we were celebrating. As usual, mua (and some other colleagues) were given the so-called glamourous, bling bling task of being usherers. (Just because I have coloured hair does not mean I love all the bling bling being in the limelight stuff.)
So, okay. I was doomed to my fate and went about it as I normally would : smile, wink and flirt with all the VIPS before showing them to their seats. (Who knows, if luck is on my side, I might actually catch a rich, GOOD LOOKING one. I wish…)
No, I have not really been all that long at this new work place I’m in. I’ve only been here about seven months. I’ve made some friends, know some people, and generally know what to do, how to go about doing them and who to ask if I’m not sure of something.
So, I left Putrajaya a bit early with a colleague because we wanted to meet up another friend and hang out with her for a while. We reached there early, met up with some old mates (and some new ones too) and had lunch. Then we had to report for duty.
Even though I was with friends, let me tell you, I felt like a lost bimbo. There were so many people, and I did not know what to do and where to go. And it did not help that the friends who were with me were lost bimbos too. But despite being a bimbo and all, the bitch part of me managed to pull me through the task. So after getting a short briefing from the President of Usherers, I no longer felt like a lost bimbo. That’s why they say, if you have brains (bimbos do have brains, you know!), use it. If you have a tongue, ask your way around. That’s what I did : used my brains and asked my way around.
Anyway, in the confusion and all, along came a datin (not an actual one, just one who thinks she is born to be one) and a wannabe datin to the scene. They are another two colleagues of mine but they are a bit new. One came in in March and the other just reported for duty in April. This was the dialogue between us :
Datin : Oh, you are already here?
Me : Yes mam, we’ve been here since before lunch.
Wannabe Datin : Oh, you’re wearing a corsage! Where did you get them?
Me : We got them from Puan Jenab (not her real name). Why don’t you look for her in that room (pointing towards the secretariat room) and she will give you one and tell you what to do.
So, off they went. Then they came back.
Wannabe Datin : I see our corsage is not the same as yours.
Me : Really? Maybe thay ran out of the ones given out earlier. It doesn’t matter. As long as we’re wearing one, it doesn’t make much difference.
Okay, the first issue was the corsage. You know how sometimes at these official functions they will have all the committe members wear corsages to differentiate them from the others? It’s strange that the first thing these ladies asked for when they arrived was not what they should be doing, but zoomed directly onto the corsage. What the hell? Aiyoh! Some people so kanchong one. If you want my corsage, then you can bloody well have it lar! As if it matters that our corsages are not the same designs. The colour was still the same mah!
Second issue : They were not there as usherers. They were there as doorway mannequins. They did nothing at all to help the rest of us! They just stood there looking "lovely"! Bloody hell!
Not only that, after ten minutes of standing, they actually found two seats and sat down by the door and started chatting for a full half an hour! Okaylah, the guests had adjourned for a pre-event drink, but when you start seeing all the big-shot VIPs coming in, you bloody well stand up and at least make yourself LOOK busy!
What a disgrace to my department! I nicely went up to them and this was the dialogue between us : (Imagine me with a sweet smile painted on my face.)
Me : I see you were not given the seating plan. Maybe I can give you mine to help you direct the guests to their seats?
Datin : No, it’s okay. This is free seating right? We will just tell them that. If the VIPs come in, we will just hand them over to you.
Me : (A bit taken aback and kinda pissed already.) Oh, okay. Do want to take some program books and help hand them out to the guests?
Wannabe Datin : No, thank you.
WAAAAHHHH!!! Can ah like that one???!!! SO the bodoh sombong one!!! What the fucking hell are you here for anyway???!!! HELLLLOOOO!!! If you’re just going to stand there and look pretty, baik blah jelah!
Bloody hell! It didn’t bother me that much at first that they were like that because I thought, well, maybe they are new and don’t know the people here that well yet, so maybe they’re a bit lost and shy to ask around. Screw them lar!!!
Look ladies , I’m kinda new too. But there is such a thing as socialising and getting the hell out of your coconut shell. Otherwise you’ll never make friends! Dah lar orang baru. Berlagak pulak tu! Again, dah lar bodoh, sombong pulak tu!
My God! Hello, you think you’re such a princess huh? That everyone will feed you everytime with a golden spoon? And you’re bloody hell older than me in years and experience, so please act like a matured adult.
I came into this job with zero knowledge. But there is such a thing as asking and knowing your way around. You don’t wait for things to fall down from the sky and laid out to you on a silver platter. Kalau kahwin dengan Sultan Brunei bolehlah! Harapkan muka je lawa, tapi akal tak jalan! Haiyoh!
I’ve never ever been this upset with a fellow colleague before. This happened two days ago, and I’m still majorly pissed! And all because for once, I was not my usual bitchy self, but trying to be nice! The words to nicely tell them off were already there at the tip of my tongue, but somehow, I just couldn’t say them! Screw me!!! I kept thinking that for once, I will just try to be nice and not be known as the our unit’s outspoken bitch. Screw me again!!!
Bloody hell!!! I went home and the conversation kept running on and on in my mind till I couldn’t fall asleep! I spent the night calling and sms-ing my friends just to vent out my frustration.
Finally went to bed, but woke up with a major headache the next day. What a waste of time and energy on two people who are no bigger than a kutu kambing! Sheeeessshhh!!!
Next time, I’m just going to be my normal bitchy self!
